 Happy Monday peoples! CCB is coming to you live this morning from Schuykill (or as Cousin Fred calls it, the Scoobydoo) Suite in the City of Brotherly Love. Uh huh…Cousin Fred has already been mugged, by the desk clerk in our hotel no less. It’s dangerous around here, I’m telling you. And hot. And extremely humid. It makes people crazy.
But enough about the adventure that our stay in Philadelphia is quickly becoming. We arrived here early Sunday morning, having driven through the night Saturday. We didn’t actually intend to stay in Cleveland so long. We decided to stay over on Friday night because Gigi, the hairdressing hydrologist, was still in town and wasn’t due to fly to back to New York until Saturday morning. I made a fast run through the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on Saturday afternoon, finishing in less than two hours. Hey, I once made it through the Louvre in Paris in less than 40 minutes. Saturday afternoon was when the trouble really began and it had nothing to do with me zooming the museum. While I was doing my touristy thing, Cousin Fred was determined to visit the boyhood home of his favorite TV and film star, Drew Carey. The only problem is, Carey’s boyhood home isn’t open for tours and is occupied. The police moved in after the home’s current resident called 911 to report “some crazy guy trying to invade my home.” In the end, the homeowner decided not to press any charges. Turns out he didn’t know that he is living in the boyhood home of Drew Carey and is now thinking he would turn it into a shrine of sorts. Still, the police held onto Cousin Fred until they could get a magistrate who issued a no-contact order and suggested that Cousin Fred leave Ohio as quickly as possible. Our Southern Living handler, the virginal vegan Brooklyn Hodensack, was out of her mind that we weren’t in Philly by Saturday afternoon. The Wasserman scandal was breaking and in Hodensack’s words, “we were still dinking around in Cleveland.” Dinking indeed. Although I had nothing to do with the Carey home invasion (I was still making my way through the Hall of Fame), Cousin Fred had the car, so there wasn’t much I could do. As we drove through the night, I asked Cousin Fred what he was planning for Philadelphia. He informed me that he plans to follow the Rocky Trail, whatever the hell that is. Oh, that and he plans to eat a lot of cheesesteak sandwiches. I was following the events regarding the political scandal as we drove. Thank goodness for large data plans. So, just when we thought that the Democratic Convention would be incredibly tame by comparison to the mess that was the GOP convention in Cleveland…eh, not so fast. It seems that someone at Wikileaks…though there’s heavy speculation that the Russians (sheesh) had a hand in things…hacked and released a bevy of emails from a DNC account that provided the veritable smoking gun that the DNC plotted to hold back The Curmudgeon’s campaign…a charge he kept throwing out in remarks during the entire primary season. Gee, guess he wasn’t so crazy after all. There really was a conspiracy. In the meantime, Wasserman-Schultz, and her head of unruly hair, has resigned effective the end of the convention. Yeah, so in the middle of all the turmoil, she insists she will still speak to the delegates. Hmmmmm. I hate to make comparisons here, but this thing is beginning to take on a Watergate sort of stench. Stayed tuned folks, this could get ugly. Sunday there were demonstrations outside the convention site by pro-Sanders people. We may have another attempt at mutiny on our hands before this is over. Seems to me that the best thing that Wasserman-Schultz could have done is resign her position immediately and step aside. She doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of what she’s done. Neither did Nixon. Who knew the Democrats could be just as stupid as Republicans? Seriously, who knew? Such drama unfolding. It’s gonna be great! You’ll see! In the meantime, the Queen of the Unindicted appeared on 60 Minutes saying that Republican calls for her to be jailed made her feel sad. Really? Seriously? Me thinks you need to pull on your big grandma panties and get ready for the ride. It’s going to be rough for her and her new lap dog Tim Kaine, which by the way, was not the best choice in my humble opinion that she could have made. I can’t help but wonder how he feels about it all, given that he was Her Majesty’s second choice for a running mate. Still, he’s a smart guy (and we could definitely use some of that) and appears to be scandal free. Uh huh, everyone and I mean EVERYONE has baggage. You just have to dig until you find it. I’m sure Vlad the Puter and his gang of thuggish hackers are hard at work on it. Stand by folks. It ain’t over until The Curmudgeon says so. Comments are closed.
|
Archives
March 2019
Categories |
RSS Feed