 Wow…we at CCB have breaking news…of a sort…on a something we mentioned previously in a post. So bare (sic) with us.
I can’t figure out if this is more about further evidence of the collapse of society as we know it, or my ineptness as legal consultant, or maybe it just points to how flawed the jury system can truly be if you push a jury to a breaking point. Okay, on with the show, or no-show as is the case here. So, a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned some guy down in Florida who was about to be tried for the murder of his wife (turns out it was his girlfriend). His contention was that during a sex act she “accidentally” choked to death on his ummmmm largish anatomy. Part of his defense strategy as conceived by his lawyer, was to show said largish anatomy to the jury and judge so they would understand what the dead girlfriend had to deal with. But wait, there’s more. Making this particularly weird was that he had left her dead on the bed for at least 24 hours, possibly as long as 48, before calling the cops. I predicted then that would be his downfall. Okay, fast forward to last week. I saw something go by in a news item that said the prosecution in the case was ripping the Big Clyde defense apart leaving it in a flaccid pile of soggy noodles. There was a medical examiner who testified that for someone to choke to death in the manner suggested by the defense, was most unlikely. I thought to myself then that there was no way he was going to convince a jury that it was all a bizarre accident. Shows how much I know (spoiler alert). Okay, so fast forward to this morning. I’m reading through the daily overnights, hoping to find something like The Trump offering a toast in Hebrew that, roughly translated, indicated that his host’s great grandmother had relations with a goat, when…there it was. The trial of Mr. Suave & Deboner down in Florida was over and he was acquitted by the jury. Really, I thought? Is it possible? I read on. Just before the jury went into deliberations, the prosecution and defense attorney’s engaged in a courtroom argument as to whether alleged murder weapon would be put on display for all to see and whether it would be displayed in a relaxed or aroused state. Curiously, the prosecution was saying that it had to exhibited in an aroused state since that was the defense’s entire erected case. Soon thereafter, the jury went out, and came back in with a verdict of innocent. Kind of makes you wonder if they just wanted to get the hell out of there and the threat of having to view…well, you get the idea. Weird, weird, weird. Made it back to The Compound from the east coast. Have to say that there isn’t much back there that I miss. Too many damned people. And, yes, the Hairdressing Hydrologist Gigi came back with me. Needless to say Cousin Fred is thrilled. He immediately kicked the non-driving Buddhist vegan with irretrievably poor vision OKC consultant Izzy out of The Cabinet Saloon replication to make room for Gigi. We moved Izzy over to Friend Lamont’s RV parked next to The Cab. I tried to get him into the guest quarters at the Main House, but The Wife is having none of it. She told me that she’s looking forward to the “battle royale” that is likely to ensue now that we’ve added Gigi to the mix out on the north lawn. The Wife has taken up residence on the roof again with a pair of binoculars and a night vision scope so she doesn’t miss any of the action. She’s up there with a cooler filled with Old Crow whiskey bottles and a box full of her favorite smokes, filterless Pall-Malls. I come out of the house twice daily and throw her a roast beef sandwich and a baggie full of Frito’s. She seems content, though she has asked that I get her a can of Frito-Lay bean dip. Now that it appears that the latest 100-year flood is past us, we’re back to work today getting things ready for the Clustering of Gigolos Music Festival later this summer. More on that tomorrow. That is all! Comments are closed.
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