 Yea! It’s Friday…and guess what? The WH drama rolls on. I’M NOT MAKING THIS STUFF UP! It’s a blogga’s paradise, I’m telling you!
But first, an update on The Compound’s virtual SELF-imprisoned composer, Montague…not Monty, not M…Montague. Mr. Montague, he gone! It was a long day yesterday and an even longer last night. The Wife every half hour was banging on the guest room door. No way she was going to let the composer sleep. Finally, at some point around 2AM, she set a loudspeaker outside the door and began playing the theme from “Law and Order” on a loop. Well, that’s enough to break anyone! At 4AM, I couldn’t stand it anymore and went down the hall to unplug the loudspeaker. She was in hallway blocking access to the speaker like a Pittsburgh center. I politely asked if she could turn it down a bit as I was trying to sleep. She cackled and flicked her lit cigarette at me. She snarled at me and then shut the speaker off before informing me that she needed me to go to town for more filterless Pall Malls and several bottles of Old Crow. It was at that point that I could hear something from inside the closed room. It was the sound of the wind. I ran back down the hall to get a crowbar to force the door open. It wasn’t easy, Montague had jammed a chair up under the knob on the other side. Finally, I made it in. The window on the south side of the room was open. Montague had escaped! I activated one of the many general alarm switches we have throughout The Compound. That brought Cousin Fred running up to the main house in his boxers, a tactical 12-gauge in hand. The Wife cackled and went into her room advising us to “keep it down” but not before mentioning that her work here was done. The walls of the guest room are covered with thousands of yellow sticky notes, all with short passages of music written on them. On top of the bed there was an invoice for Montague’s services, pain and suffering in the amount of $50,000. I handed the invoice to Cousin Fred. He scoffed, wadded up the paper and tossed it over his shoulder. I closed the window as the breeze was beginning to blow some of the stickies off the wall. Cousin Fred figures the stickies were put on the wall in some semblance of order and need to be carefully removed and numbered in the same order. There goes the weekend! But, on to bigger and more important stuff! So, in connection with a couple of real-life threads in this blog – what am I saying? It’s all real-life. Cousin Fred exists I’m telling you! But, I digress… Yesterday, Melania Trump’s spokesperson announced in a statement that she (Mrs. Donald) has NEVER discussed anything with the blabbermouth lawyer Rudy Giuliani. Mr. Rudy, as you may recall, was on national television telling the world that Mrs. Donald actually believes The Trump’s version of things about boffing the porn star (i.e., he didn’t dip his wick). While the statement didn’t come right out and say that Mrs. Donald doesn’t believe The Trump’s version of stuff, it’s certainly seemed to imply that someone’s lying. Hmm…me wonders who? In fairness to Mr. Rudy, he may be taking input from The Trump who has his own special way of spinning truth and making the people around him look stupid. But wait, there’s more! So, the scandal-plagued head of EPA, former Oklahoma Attorney General and all-around abuser of power, Scott Pruitt is back in the news. This time for using his high-dollar security team to search through DC boutiques to find a fav moisturizing lotion. Well, isn’t that so very special? Picture in your head a naked Scott Pruitt applying lotion to himself after a shower while humming the tune, “Whistle While You Work”. Okay, I just threw up in my mouth. Enough of that. It’s time for Pruitt to go! Let’s get this rolling. The weekend is coming, The Trump will start his usual tweeting that we’ve all come to expect like a frigging fireside chat. He’ll tweet out that Pruitt is a lotion-loving loser who he fired to save the taxpayers of America a ton of dough. The lotion industry will issue a complaint and then it will end. Pruitt will read said tweet, pack a bag and slither back to Oklahoma where he’ll likely run for Oklahoma Corporation Commission, the world’s most corrupt entity…but I’ll save that for another post. That is all! Comments are closed.
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