 Phew, glad that’s over! What a flash of time it’s been over the past few days and it just got wackier and wackier as it rolled along. Here’s the recap of the most surreal 72-hour news cycle ever as best we could keep up with it all. First, The Trump was in Quebec meeting with the G-7 (probably soon to be G-6). The Trump played hardball on his new tariffs (steel and aluminum) and refused to roll unless he got concessions on tariffs against the U.S. Nobody bit. The Trump then up and announced that he was leaving behind the people who are allies to the U.S. in order to play cozy to a third world allegedly-nuclear dictator seemingly bent on nuclear bullying. Supposedly, The Trump tore up a document, a communique from the G-7 (probably soon to be G-6) just before he left. In other words, he refused to sign the damned thing and just left the building to fly off to Singapore. Soon thereafter, leaking from the WH, in a New York Times article, was the story of an OFFICE in the WH that WAS manned to tape back together all the papers that The Trump tears up. WTF, you say? Yeah, we thought the same thing. Apparently, there’s something called the Presidential Records Act that states that any piece of paper POTUS touches must be preserved as a national record. As the story told it, The Trump is notorious for flying into a rage and ripping documents, notes, and alleged payoff offers to porn stars (okay, we’re making that one up). When he did that, someone would carefully collect said shreds and drop them off with the WH Taping Office (not the official name, but we liked it). Their job was to piece it (whatever it is and preserve it in an archival box). F*$k, oh dear! But, guess what? The people who oversaw that were fired a short time ago. No one is taping The Trump’s tears anymore! O’ the humanities! Does any one else smell a conspiracy? Hmm? No wait, there’s more! So, The Trump gets airborne and is headed to Singapore when Justin Trudeau (Head Canadian) goes on a live television for some old-fashioned Trump-bashing. Following that, the WH issues a statement saying, among other things (and we swear we’re not making this up), “There is a special place in hell for Justin Trudeau.” Again, WTF?! Oh, did we mention that The Trump instructed his WH Chief of Staff to instruct all the WH minions in D.C. to not “f*#ing say anything stupid” until he could close a deal with Kim? Well, he did. Hmm... Then, The Trump’s in Singapore (after 21 hours of flying) and he’s all over the place there. Meetings, dinners, birthday celebrations, blah, blah, and blah. Why wasn’t he studying up for his meeting with Kim Jong-Uno? Kim got there first…oh, oh…and get this. Kim flew in with two planes as a security measure. His sister (apparently, his heir apparent) was on the other plane. BUT, and here’s the best part…Kim’s plane was reportedly equipped with a special toilet so that his doody could be recovered by the NoKo’s to keep it from being stolen. What the hell does he think someone is going to do with Kim-doody anyway? Seriously, is there a threat to clone more Kim Jong-Unos in the world? I NEED ANSWERS! Again, and again, WTF?! But, wait there’s STILL MORE. So now, Kim Jong-Uno’s first pick for a buddy movie co-star, Dennis Rodman, was there…IN SINGAPORE! What the hell is going on, you ask? This is beginning to sound suspiciously like a Seth Rogan film. But wait, the best part of Rodman being there is that he’s being sponsored by POTCOIN. POTCOIN is a cryptocurrency designed to be used for marijuana-related transactions. I CAN’T MAKE THIS UP, PEOPLE! But, stop, stop…there’s still more! Then, Dennis Rodman is on CNN, wearing a MAGA hat and weeping on live TV about how Obama turned him down when he offered to mediate, but The Trump’s people welcomed his efforts. Can it get any more surreal or bizarre? Oh yes, yes it can! They, The Trump and Kim Jong-Uno, got it done! The two signed an agreement in which NoKo agrees to completely de-nuclearize. Now The Trump has found a new little buddy. He says he’ll invite him to the White House for a visit. We here at CCB are stepping down The Compound Threat Level to Neon Chartreuse and shutting the hidey hole bunker down…for now. Honestly, the devil is in the details on this. Kim signed the paper, agreeing to destroy his arsenal though I’m not sure anyone knows exactly what that means or how large the arsenal, in fact, is. We’ll see…yep, we’ll see. Now The Trump gets to come home and take a victory lap around the WH grounds that will last for months. All is well…right? That is all! Comments are closed.
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