 Happy Thursday everyone. At least I hope your Thursday will be enjoyable. Not so much for me. It was a long night here. I wrapped up the final set lists for the Clustering of Gigolos Music Festival coming up. Finished that around 11:30 and thought I would go out to The Cab and have a drink with Cousin Fred.
When I got outside though, I saw that he and the hairdressing hydrologist Gigi were standing around that hole they’ve been digging in the north pasture. Gigi was dressed in a bikini (it was still danged hot at 11:30) and a hardhat. Cousin Fred was wearing a loin cloth and a dried alligator skull on his head…a leftover from when that weird gator cult visited over the 070417 Apocalypse here at The Compound. There was someone there talking to them. A guy dressed in khaki pants and a white ironed shirt, oh, and a hardhat. He had a long roll of paper in his hands, looked like a set of plans, that he was looking at as he unrolled it. Gigi kept pointing to something on the paper. Dude in the white ironed shirt would nod thoughtfully as she spoke. When she would turn away to talk with Cousin Fred, dude in the white shirt would take a quick peek at her bikini-clad body. Perv. I thought I could hear something to the south, a motor sound, but couldn’t see anything on the road down there. I stepped back inside the garage where I keep a night-vision scope (no compound should be without one) and took it back outside on the terrace. I looked toward the south and could see something way down the road near the section line, but I couldn’t quite make out what it was. Some sort of truck maybe. There were people moving around the thing and smoking…lots of smoking going on. I moved the scope back over the north pasture and was nearly blinded when it picked up the group there with their flashlights perusing rolled paper and Gigi’s body. I swung past them to Ironed Shirt’s pickup. It wasn’t hard to spot, it was white. Why are there so many white trucks in this area? Don’t you people have any sense of color or style? But, I digress… There was an Oklahoma Corporation Commission logo on the door. What the hell is the OCC doing at The Compound at 11:30 at night, I’m thinking to myself? Now the bunch in the north pasture all seem in agreement and everyone is shaking hands. Ironed Shirt walks back to his white truck. I see Cousin Fred on his phone talking to someone. He was looking south toward the mystery truck. I decided then it was time to go inside, lest I be pinned as a witness to what would follow. Friends, when you were in high school or college did you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re with a bunch of friends in a car and they dare you to do something that they swear will make you a legend? Though in the end you just look like a fool? I know I did that sort of thing. In fact, incident for incident, I’m probably the most legendary person I know. Take for instance the guy in Arizona, as reported by KFOR News4 (supposedly the guy is a cousin to News9’s David Payne), who on a dare got out of his friend’s car in front of a Walmart wearing nothing but glittery eye makeup. He walks into the Walmart and tours the store naked. Store officials (read as woefully underpaid managers) call the cops. By the time, the cops show up, Naked Dude has left the building and is across the street. Bet he was searching for his friends who swore they would wait for him over there. He told the cops that he and his pals were doing some meth and his pals thought it would be really funny for him to tour Walmart naked. There was no explanation as to how he came to be wearing glittery eye make-up or when it was applied. Hey, maybe his friends were hoping he would wind up in one of those People of Walmart internet click-bait things. So let’s see…the cops got him for indecent exposure, public sexual indecency, and possession of drugs (he was still carrying some meth – where they didn’t say). The best part of this story is that it all happened in Maricopa County, where that lunatic sheriff no longer reigns. They got a new guy. Still, I’m betting it will not be a pleasant stay in the county jail. By the way, we were only kidding about the guy being David Payne’s cousin. That is all! Comments are closed.
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