Big trouble in Taco Bell...Queen of Nestea goes on a refreshing rampage...Taco Boss half-strips and goes bananas...Trump lawyer playing loose with responsibility...I love America!

You know what really irks me? Good morning. Happy Monday and all that, by the way.
I spent far too many years in the military and the one thing that was always driven home when you’re in the military – in both theory and practice – is that you always take responsibility for your actions. If you screw something up, you own up to the mistake and take action to correct whatever you did.

That's if you're in the military. If you’re The Trump you try to blame someone else for everything that goes just a bit off the tracks in your administration.

Take for example one his lawyers, we’ll call him Sekulow…well, because that’s his actual name, who went on national TV Sunday morning and indicated that it seemed odd to him that the Secret Service would allow Boris and Natasha into Trump Tower for the meeting with the Three Stooges if there was something wrong with Boris and Natasha, which there was.

This coming on the heels of reports last Friday that there was an additional attendee at the meeting, a shadowy former Soviet intelligence officer.

Talking about Russian adoptions, indeed!

When I heard this crap yesterday morning being spewed by Lawyer Sekulow, it occurred to me that even if the Secret Service had been in place at Trump Tower at the time, which they weren’t, it isn’t their job to vet visitors coming through beyond making sure they aren’t carrying a weapon.

So, for example, if Kim Jong Uno showed up at the White House gates one morning and he had an appointment, chances are he would get in. Oh sure, he would have to hand over the portable nuke in his pocket, but hey, he has an appointment.

Now, the USSS is defending itself by pointing out that they weren’t posting agents at Trump Tower at that time. But, even if they had been, if Boris and Natasha had an appointment with Junior and the other two stooges, they would likely have gotten in.

All of this, of course, was meant to divert attention from the fact that Junior initially lied about the meeting and then compounded that by lying about who was at the meeting.

This thing is going to roll on forever, me thinks.

Now, I know that you people depend on CCB more for our analysis of reports of people acting stupidly than you do the political stuff. But, honestly, lately you people have been behaving, which leaves us with little to analyze besides the antics of La Familia Trump.

Well, hey, things on that end are beginning to turn around. We saw a report in the overnight newsfeed straight out of the heart (or in the case, maybe the spleen) of Texas about a woman throwing an iced tea dispenser around a Taco Bell while the manager half-strips and threatens to beat the crap out of the woman’s 17 year old son and then really goes bananas.

Now how’s that for misbehaving? Things are lookin’ up, I’m telling you!

So the woman, we’ll call her Queen of Nestea, shows up at the restaurant with her teenaged son, we’ll call him Quart Size Unsweetened, during the noon rush to pick up her final paycheck.

Aha…so, she’s a former employee…this won’t end well. See, things are looking up!

What exactly started the melee isn’t really known. Maybe the manager, we’ll call him Taco Boss, was too busy with customers to fetch her final check at that moment. Whatever the case, things began to escalate. At some point the Queen of Nestea got behind the counter which all of you rule-following readers of CCB know is a no-no. She began slinging the contents of the iced tea dispenser around the restaurant reportedly asking patrons ducking the refreshing deluge, “You want lemon with that?”

When alleged ice tea dispenser was empty she flinged it (sic) at Taco Boss who was trying to pass more greasy tacos out the drive-thru window. He turns around and grabs the tea dispenser near the drive-thru and flings it at Queen of Nestea. He then lets loose with a string of obscenities before tearing off his shirt and challenging Quart Size Unsweetened to a fight.

Queen of Nestea begins shouting at Quart Size Unsweetened to get the hell out of the restaurant. She then picks up a large metal spatula and prepares to defend herself against Taco Boss.

But wait, there’s more…

Taco Boss then begins screaming at one of his diligent employees who is recording the whole thing on her iPhone to stop filming. “Don’t put this on the Internet,” he yells. “I don’t want to be on the Internet!”

Alleged iPhone diligent employee responded that she was only recording in case someone did something stupid…hmmmmmmm.

About that time, the cops come rushing in. Taco Boss throws his hands up in the air and begins screaming, “I’m the manager, I’m the manager, we have it all on camera!”
Thank you, iPhone diligent employee.

One of the cops tells Taco Boss to calm the f**k down and put a shirt on.

They arrest Queen of Nestea and drag her off in handcuffs.

But wait, there’s still more…the iPhone recording ends with the cops tackling Quart Size Unsweetened in the parking lot and cuffing him too.

See what I mean? I love America, really I do. Where else could minimum wage employees find fame on the Internet? Really, where else?

That is all!
 
 

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