Banjo Boy From the Pacific Northwest Gets a Gig!

For purposes of keeping that rabid pack of deranged lemming droppings known as the Oklahoma Media away from the compound, I will now speak in code. 

Ahem…Hellkat One has landed.  Repeat, Hellkat One has landed.  The Honey Wagon is secure.  Repeat, the Honey Wagon is secure.

Sorry to have digressed there, but I wanted to make certain HRH back at the palace got the word.  Any of you faithful readers (and the few haters) will likely know of what I speak.  There was some fanfare yesterday upon her arrival.  The Fargo Volunteer Fire Department offered to provide the travel trailer with a half-mile escort from the highway to the gates of the compound.  Well, it tried to provide an escort…the rig broke down at about the quarter-mile point, but they meant well.

So far, so good.  She seems amenable to serving as emcee for the upcoming Downward Facing Dog Yoga and Meditation Festival (our new official name for it) here at the compound.  In the 24-hours or so since we changed this into something other than a strictly Thrash Metal Jam Festival and added a semi-celebrity as emcee, the response has been incredible.  Several bands have accepted the invitation to play a set including:  My Bloody Popstar; Morbidly Obtuse; Texas Grapefruit Lies (personal favorite); Legion of the Rammed; and, the inevitable Wiley Piemore and the Prairie Dawgs (adds a local flavor to the festivities)…oh…and of course Hellkat One’s band Pink Pony. 

Most importantly, Cousin Fred tells me that the cash is starting to roll in.  I put him in charge of the PayPal account where people can purchase their admission tickets.  Cousin Fred is in charge of the cash account…what could go wrong?  Hmmmm…time for an audit, me thinks.   

At any rate, just penciling in the sets with stage set-up and tear-down in between (it’s murder being a festival promoter), I figure I have room for one more act.  And, I think I found him.

I came across an article on the Huffington Post web site about a young dummy (we’ll call him Banjo Boy – you’ll see why in a second) in Vancouver, Washington (sits smack on the Oregon border).  He seemed a reasonable sort of guy.  He’s a 26 year old software engineer (makes decent dough I’m sure).  Seems Banjo Boy and his father got into an argument on Sunday afternoon, the end result being a naked BB chasing his father (who by most reports was clothed) down the street with a knife in hand. 

After the chase, he retreated back to the house where he barricaded himself when the cops showed up.  After the SWAT team and hostage negotiators arrived on scene he came out on the porch with banjo and proceeded to play for the police.  This went on for two hours.  TWO HOURS?  Without a break?

Hell, that’s more than I get the bands to do for the DFDYMF!  I want this guy!  Only problem is, he’s locked up on a variety of charges on $30,000 bail and he’s ordered not to have contact with the father.  Hey, I can help out with that…he’ll be in Oklahoma.  I’ve got Cousin Fred working to secure the bail so we can get Banjo Boy out of jail and to the festival.

Nothing says fun, fun, fun like a naked banjo player playing banjo for a bunch of people on yoga mats!

Hmmmm…wonder if he knows any Carpenters’ tunes?

It’s only 8:30 and I’m wondering where the Wife has hidden my bottle of Jack Daniels.