And in this corner weighing in at 120 pounds...tear gas canisters won't penetrate plywood, who knew?3/23/2018
![]() Yep, it’s Friday. The end of another stinkin’ work week. Today is the day the cast of 96 was supposed to leave the confines of the old hospital in Cosmic City after a 96-hour lock-in, but things didn’t exactly work out that way. As you may recall, we left off yesterday after a loud thud was heard against one of the boarded-up windows during an engagement with a ghost named Bennie, the depressed and disgruntled former (read as, dead) proctologist. Turns out that loud thud was caused by a multi-county SWAT team outside the hospital trying to fire tear gas canisters through the boarded-up windows. I know, right? Soon after the thud we could hear lots of coughing and gasping as the canister lay on the ground, the gas wafting back toward the ranks of police. Welcome to our part of the world. It seems that someone on the wacky preservation committee noticed Friend Lamont’s van parked near the hospital for several days and reported to the police that Arkansas squatters had moved into the old building. After opening the door to the place and walking out with our hands in the air, we were issued a cease and desist order to never enter the property again. We are each also proud recipients of citations for vagrancy, trespassing, and being an Arkansan squatter. Each ticket carries a fine of $300. Fortunately (read as, remarkably), the cops didn’t seize any of our equipment. So, we have some decent video of the encounter with Bennie, but not much beyond that. Plus, we didn’t make it to the 96-hour mark so we can rack this one up as a fail. But, Cousin Fred is not to be deterred. He’s already found a woman up in Dodge City, Kansas (it’s cheaper there you know) who claims the ghost of Wyatt Earp hisself is haunting her roadside motel. That’s probably where we’ll head next. Although we can’t use the footage from the old hospital for anything in connection with the pilot we owe Chick Ferris, I suppose we could upload it to YouTube or something as a best-of-bloopers segment. Speaking of new and different uploads… Did you hear the one about the woman in Zephyrhills, Florida who started punching her husband because he forgot their wedding anniversary? So, the husband comes home. The wife probably had something for him to commemorate their anniversary. The husband has nothing. He admits that he forgot it. A spirited verbal argument ensues, that then escalates into the wife getting all metal-cage-match with the husband. She’s hitting him in the face, punching him in the head, scratching him, and knocking him to the ground. But, what she didn’t know is that the husband was recording the main event with his iPhone. The cops show up. The husband presumably shows them the recording of the action. He’s scratched, he’s bruised…she doesn’t have a mark on her. Guess what happened next? She’s arrested and hauled off to jail on a domestic violence charge. But then, she posts her $150 bond (it’s really cheap in Florida) and goes back home, presumably for round two. Hopefully, while she was in the can, the husband ran out and bought a card or some flowers or something…oh, and a little Bactine for his own damned scratched-up self. So far, the video hasn’t made it online. Word has it that they’re trying to sell it as a pay-per-view event on cable or start their own YouTube channel. What have we learned from today’s post? 1. Tear gas canisters cannot be fired through plywood. 2. Always get permission from the owners of a property before setting up a 96-hour ghost-a-thon. 3. Never forget an anniversary or birthday. 4. But if you do forget, keep your iPhone handy. 5. America is such an odd place sometimes. That is all! Comments are closed.
|
Archives
March 2019
Categories |