 Friends, have you ever been to Egypt? Hmmm? You know, to see the felucca’s ply the waters of the Nile or see all the marvelous structures at Giza? Those structures are pretty spectacular, sort of. The first thing everybody says when they stand next to the Sphinx is, “Is that it? I thought it would be bigger.” (Could make a that’s-what-she-said joke, but I’ll resist…doh!) You stand next to the pyramids, thinking to yourself, “Gee, how did they get all of that rock out here on this desert?” Your local tour guide rolls his eyes, as he has done a gazillion times over the decades that he’s been leading tourists out to this spot, knowing exactly what you’re thinking. You gaze over at the edge of the desert complex of monuments to mankind’s (or ancient aliens’) creativity and see a Holiday Inn. Seriously. It’s there. And you begin to feel sad that crass commercialism has taken its spot at the edge of one of the wonders of the world. But then you think, “I should have stayed there! The Wife would have been so impressed with my ability to plan a trip!” Oh, and then there’s the trip through Cairo to get to Giza. Narrow, crowded, filthy streets with towering apartment dwellings lining the entire way; blocking out any hope for sunlight or a wisp of fresh air. Along the way, you view poverty and a surge of humanity on a level you’ve never witnessed (unless, of course, you’ve taken the pre-dawn drive from New Delhi to Agra to see the Taj Mahal in India – intrepid traveler that you are). As you stand out on that barren piece of desert gazing at the wonderment that is the Great Pyramids, you’re trying to recall whatever it was that the at-times rather bizarre-looking Ph.D. on Ancient Aliens said on the episode when he was trying to explain the theory that the pyramids in Egypt and Central America and Asia are all perfectly aligned to create some weird power grid that was utilized by space aliens visiting earth a long, long time ago. You ask yourself, “Could it actually be true?” Ancient alien theorists say, “Of course it’s true, you dolt!” Could it be that ancient Egyptians with the help of extraterrestrial visitors unlocked all the secrets to life and perhaps, just perhaps, left us with some hint in the hieroglyphics they left behind? Nah, probably not. But it makes great television on a Friday night before Hawaii Five-O comes on. Aloha! In truth, ancient Egypt was probably not much different than modern Egypt with its slums teeming with will-never-haves on one side and the well-educated, abundantly wealthy elites on the other. But, people are going to believe what people are going to believe. Take for instance, a petition going around the world seeking to allow a handful of people to drink from a soup believed by some to be the elixir of life left bestowed upon us by ancient ones. Haven’t heard of this yet? Well, strap in my babies, here we go. So, recently a “sealed” sarcophagus was unearthed in Egypt that revealed the remains of three people who were stewing in a putrid, rust-colored liquid. A change.org user calling himself Innes Mick began an online petition that seeks to “…drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers and finally die.” I’m not making this up. This despite the Egyptian government declaring that the nasty slurry is simply decades of leakage from an aged (ancient?) sewer system. The government points out that’s why the corpses in the sarcophagus have rotted to bone rather than remain in some form of remarkable preservation as observed with other mummies. Innes Mick, not to be deterred, counters saying that “…please stop trying to tell me the skeleton juice is mostly sewage that’s impossible everyone knows skeletons cannot poop.” Ah, interesting counterpoint Innes Mick, interesting counterpoint. NOT! As of this past weekend The Mickster had gained 8,000 signatures on his petition. The Egyptian government isn’t buying it and apparently won’t allow it to happen. A video has appeared on YouTube posted by an Egyptian news outlet that purports to show the government draining the sarcophagus and pouring the buckets of the slurry out in the street. Welcome to Egypt! That is all! Comments are closed.
|
Archives
March 2019
Categories |
RSS Feed