![]() Well, well…here we are. Yet another stinkin’ Monday in January. The holidays are behind us. Time to start trying to lose all the weight you put on eating cookies and fruitcake. By the way, if you didn’t eat the well-intentioned re-gifted fruitcake you received from Aunt Hattie, there is still time to drop off your tins at the entrance to The Compound. I wouldn’t recommend driving to the top of the U-shaped driveway. It’s post-holiday, we’re back on Compound footing. For a limited time only, when you drop a tin of fruitcake at the entrance you’ll receive an autographed photo of Cousin Fred in his Das Boot outfit suitable for framing or scaring the crap out of barn rats. On Saturday, I made a big pot of homemade minestrone soup that was (if I say so myself) larruping good. No meat in that, just healthy stuff. Didn’t lose a pound though, so Sunday night I had a grilled steak. I’m feeling much better now. Say there, sports fans, do you know what today is? It may or may not be the birthday of everyone’s favorite lunatic fringe despot with weird hair…no not The Trump. I’m talking about Kim Jong Uno! I say, may be his birthday because no one knows for certain. His birthday is a closely guarded secret for some reason that would only make sense if you’re a rabid NoKoan. Wonder what people get him for his birthday? When you have a really big button, what else do you need? It’s a closed country so it’s not like you can run to the store to get something…because there isn’t crap on the shelves! But, whatever you get him better be good! Otherwise, you’re likely to get disappeared. You suppose The Trump will send him birthday wishes? Probably not. Oooo, maybe he can have a copy of Fire and Fury delivered in a diplomatic pouch. The Trump could inscribe on the inside, “To Kim…or Jong…or Un…whichever name you prefer to go by. Let me assure you that I am mentally stable and a remarkably fantastic genius unlike you, you stupid NoKo fiend! Oh, and my button is much bigger and works better! With sincere tthhhhhhhhhpppppppppppttttt!, The Donald.” Eh, not likely to happen I guess. The Trump has had his hands full since that book was released late last week. We’ve had to listen to what a stable freaking genius he really is. Blah, blah, blah. No one asked me (thought they should), but the best way to have dealt with Fire and Fury would have been for all of his speaking minions to sing the same tune, “We will not comment on what is obviously a volume of fabrications that seeks to smear the legacy of this presidency.” Okay, I wasn’t able to even type that with a straight face. But, my point here is that even The Trump himself should have showed an ounce of dignity and just let it roll off. Two things happen when you start tweeting a response to every sentence in the book…one, you sell more books for the guy who wrote it…and, two, everyone thinks you protest too much (“I’m the most mentally stable motherf***er I know! Ask any of my relatives who work for me, they’ll tell you!) Fished eyed, in-bed cheeseburger eating, orange haired fool. Now, he even has the RNC involved. Over the weekend, the Republican National Committee issued a parody of the book. That’s the way to stay above the fray, RNC! Nice going. And, now, the multiple shirt wearing freak Bannon is even feeling some remorse. He’s apologizing, nay, puking apologies to The Trump saying he didn’t mean to say the things he is quoted in the book as saying. Hmmmm…me thinks The Banster is having trouble finding work. And then, if the weekend wasn’t strange enough (and it was mighty strange), we hear the Oprah Freaking Winfrey may run for president in 2020? Sure, why not? Hey! Maybe we’ll all get new cars if she’s elected! Yeah, that’s the ticket! That is all! Comments are closed.
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