 Happy Tuesday everyone! Here we are, day two of the annual Deliver Fruitcake to The Compound campaign, and…I got nothing. Oh sure, I could go buy my own damned fruitcake, but it’s more fun when people give them to me.
You don’t have to converse with me (honestly, I don’t want to talk with you either), just drop the round tins or foil packages (if you make the homemade kind with alcohol) on the lawn in front of the Main House. It’s just the right thing to do. After all, you don’t like fruitcake. You never have. It isn’t vegan. It isn’t even vegetarian. There’s no meat in it (although I’ve heard there is an abundance of rats in Corsicana). Don’t throw it out. Throw it on Mr. Robin’s lawn. He’ll give it a good home (his belly). The gates are open (but only during the day), and I’ve made Cousin Fred and Friend Lamont stow the weapons (out of sight). You’re welcome here (for a short time and ONLY if you have fruitcake). Help me, help me please (how’s that for pitiful?)! The lovely hairdressing hydrologist Gigi made an appearance above ground yesterday from the underground abode that she and Cousin Fred share on the north lawn. For someone who spends most of her time lately underground, she looked remarkably tan. Cousin Fred intimated that, “She has her methods.” The two of them along with Friend Lamont came up to the house yesterday for lunch. I was replaying the now somewhat infamous Friday interview on Fox News with Chris Wallace and Fearless Leader. It aired Sunday morning. Gigi, who used to sculpt the dead cat atop Fearless Leader’s skull into something vaguely resembling natural hair, made a telling comment regarding the structure of said dead cat. She pointed out that for the first time in weeks the “wings” that began in his sideburns, traveled across the tops of his ears, and ended somewhere at the back of his head beneath the wave of hair that starts atop his head were gone. The hairdressing hydrologist commented that finally someone was doing his hair properly. As she made the comment, I noticed Cousin Fred was casting furtive glances around the room. Friend Lamont had his head down staring into his soup. I made a mental note to pursue his reaction or, rather, his very telling reaction with Cousin Fred later…he’ll cave. One of the things that really struck me from that interview was Fearless Leader admitting that he should have made the arduous two-mile journey to Arlington Cemetery to honor this nation’s fallen military. Bet he was thinking: “Eh, why would I do that? Dead people can’t vote!” No, but the live ones who saw what you did can vote, fool. But I digress… So, Fearless Leader tells Chris Wallace that he was too busy making phone calls that day. “I should have done that,” Trump told Wallace. “I was extremely busy on calls for the country. We did a lot of calling, as you know.” Of course, he didn’t elaborate as to whom he was calling. He made the now patent excuse for not attending World War I commemoration ceremonies at a cemetery in France in which he blames everyone else for not being able to get out of bed that morning. This, even though his Joint Chiefs Chairman and his WH Chief of Staff (a retired Marine general) made it there in great shape. But the weirdest part of that entire interview (for me) was when he went on the attack of retired Admiral McRaven who led the effort to kill bin Laden. Fearless Leader was quoted in the interview (this is not fake, disgusting news), “Wouldn’t it have been nice if we got Osama bin Laden a lot sooner than that, wouldn’t it have been nice?” the president said. “You know, living — think of this — living in Pakistan, beautifully in Pakistan, in what I guess they considered a nice mansion, I don’t know, I’ve seen nicer. But living in Pakistan right next to the military academy, everybody in Pakistan knew he was there.” An apparent slam at McRaven, a vocal critic of Fearless Leader’s leadership of this nation. For the record, McRaven and the SEAL Team warriors who took down the world’s most wanted terrorist had NOTHING (read as ZERO) to do with finding bin Laden. Their job was to terminate his time on earth, which they did. Finding bin Laden was the job of CIA. But then again, Fearless Leader has long derided the U.S. Intelligence Community, saying that his sources are far better. Yeah, good luck with that you draft-dodging, orange=skinned dead-cat-wearing idiot. Good luck with that. Okay, enough vitriol for one day. That is all! Comments are closed.
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