Доброе утро...Cousin Fred is digging holes...the Three Stooges are in NYC...Florida is not the place to be if you want to have sex in front of a convenience store...it's Wednesday...hump day!

Доброе утро. Я надеюсь ты хорошо спал.

In case you’re wondering, that’s Russian. I’m practicing my Russian because apparently The Trump and his family are planning to sell the United States to Vlad the Poot. Bet Junior is hoping to cash in on the Moscow commercial real estate uptick.

And, I know this thing has been analyzed and reported to freakin’ death, but every time I decide to ignore it all, there’s a new wrinkle. I know you’re all tired of hearing about it, but Stephen Colbert put it best on Monday night. Essentially, he said that you have the campaign manager (Manafort) and key advisor (Jared) to a (then) trailing presidential candidate summoned at the last minute (in the middle of a heated campaign) to a meeting with an unknown Russian attorney and they happily attend…and swear they didn’t know what was going on?

Okay, we’re stupid, but we’re really not that stupid. Raise the bullsh*t flag!

Yesterday, Junior posted his email exchange with the weirdo Brit PR dude who made it perfectly clear what the Russian could offer. Like a bizarre late night McDonald’s commercial, Junior announced he’s lovin’ it.

Let’s stop there for a second. If you will recall, these are same three stooges (Junior, Jared, Manafort) who all denied having any contact with Russians during the campaign. Hmmmmm…what about Natasha (the Russian attorney) who they claim wanted only to discuss child adoptions?

Hopefully la Familia Trump understands why no one believes them now. Someone’s lying.

Do I care? Not really. Hillary is probably as crooked as this bunch. She just didn’t understand why what she did was so wrong. Honestly, neither does this bunch. Let’s face it. We wound up with what we deserved and now we’re stuck with the NYC version of Dukes of Hazard.

Have you been in corporate America lately…it’s always like this. Oh sure corporations will trot out their ethics team with records of training all the employees on playing fair. Thhhpppppppttttttt! La Familia Trump are cutthroat business people. They have no ethics. It’s kill or be killed.

The only problem now is that there will be an investigation. The media will have to report on it ad infinitum. And, we’re going to receive the “benefit” of that reporting. Judas priest.

I personally am thrilled to find diversions in this misery of life.

Let’s see…in the middle of final planning and preps for our Clustering of Gigolos Music Festival at the end of the month, Cousin Fred and the hairdressing hydrologist Gigi have some secret project they’re working on in the middle of the night. Cousin Fred tells me not to worry…that I worry too much…I’m going to have a heart attack I keep worrying like that…fuhgetaboutit he says (with a western Arkansas accent). Yeah, easy for him to say.

I don’t know exactly what they’re doing, but they’re out there digging in the southeast corner of the north pasture. Night after night. I can hear them out there. Drunk on their ass and laughing in between bouts of digging. Whatever they’re digging is covered with a large wood cover during the day.

Okay, I need more diversion…let’s see. Oh, I know, there was the story I was originally going to post on here, but got sidetracked reading about Junior and Natasha.

It seems there was a couple in Florida…why is it always Florida? They were out at 3AM having sex in front of a convenience store when a cop rolled up on them.

According to Officer Nofun’s report they were both naked from the waist down and engaging in sexual activity with one another. Well, that pretty well sums things up, I reckon.

Officer Nofun told them stop. They got belligerent about it and just kept going.

Finally, Officer Nofun got the two separated (hopefully he wrapped himself in latex) and charged them with (only in Florida) public exposure of genitalia…eh, it’s a misdemeanor. They spent nine hours in jail, probably to sleep off the drunk and were released.

Wait a minute…wasn’t Jim Morrison charged in Florida with allegedly wagging his wiener at an audience? Then it was a felony, which is why he fled the country for Paris and soon thereafter croaked. Sigh.

There…now don’t you feel better about humanity as a whole? I know I do!

And you people still wonder why I drink?

That is all!
 

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